Day 5: Are you pro-thinspo, pro-fitspo, pro-ana, pro-mia, or pro-weight-loss? Why?
- Difficult question . . . I'd say I'm definitely pro-thinspo, fitspo, and weight loss for myself and others. On a whole I encourage others to be healthy and inspiration that helps you achieve that is always good. However, I am not pro-any form of eating disorder for those who don't have one. I am a member of a "pro-ana" site though. I go there for support and inspiration. So I like having the option of visiting a pro-ana site even though I strongly discourage it for anyone not already struggling.
So I'm up in Minnesota for Thanksgiving. This is gonna be a struggle. I already ate more today than I should have and tomorrow is Thanksgiving!! I don't plan on eating anything before dinner though that way if I over eat a little bit it won't be the end of the world. Though I'd really like to eat less than a normal portion of food. Just a taste of everything to occupy time and show everyone I'm eating. Is it bad that I'm hoping to wake up really sick tomorrow? Last year I got so lucky and was throwing up during dinner so I didn't have to worry about it. Oh well . . . I'll just have to prove my strength of character.
I've been thinking about trying out laxatives lately and Judith Marie (a blogger I follow) just recently posted about using them. It's seriously making the thoughts even stronger. Sure, now you all probably think I just copy everything I read from blogs. I promise you that's not the case. Reading these blogs just helps me settle these debates I've been having with myself. But you can think what you wish. Unfortunately I am not home or up at school so I don't have the opportunity to get them at the moment. I'm going to have to wait till I leave Minnesota. Gives me some more time to debate about it.
And now for a comment response:
Judith Marie: Thank you so much for your lovely comment! I'm always terrified that someone is going to to notice my cutting and confront me about it. So I had to be sure I put it somewhere no one would see. Your comment really means a lot =] I'm glad I'm not the only one who finds it beautiful. I guess that's how our minds work. There's something inherently more beautiful about something when you've carved it into your skin. Maybe that's just because I'm crazy . . .