Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Life has been unbelievably hectic here and I've barely had enough time to breath let alone update my blog. On the plus side, busy schedule = no time to think about my issues so I've been in a relatively good mood every day.  Saturday night I cut again.  My wrists like an idiot.  And there were a lot of people over which just wasn't a smart move on my part.  I make dumb decisions when I'm drunk, oh well.  I cut lightly over two of my veins.  Not deep enough to cut them, just enough to produce blood.  I'm progressively getting more and more daring when I cut.  Either I cut deeper in an area where I can't see a vein, or I cut directly on top of a vein.  Always too frightened to cut into one just incase.  But I'm wondering how long it will take before my curiosity outdoes my fear.  Only time will tell.

Eating has been relatively normal.  I'm a fat cow and learning to cope with it.  Haven't weighed in forever but I'm guessing I'm around 135 or 140.  Nothing is too loose on me now which I'm not happy with.  But, again, I'm learning to deal with that.

Well I have a lot of homework to get done before dress rehearsal tonight so I'm going to end my post here!
Personality Disorder Test Results
Paranoid |||||||||||||||||||| 86%
Schizoid |||||||||||||||| 70%
Schizotypal |||||||||||||| 54%
Antisocial |||||| 22%
Borderline |||||||||||||||||| 78%
Histrionic |||||| 26%
Narcissistic |||||| 22%
Avoidant |||||||||||| 42%
Dependent |||||||||||| 42%
Obsessive-Compulsive |||||||||||||||| 70%
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