Saturday, November 5, 2011

Half a Confession

This show is sure keeping me busy!  Between classes, studying for tests, sorority events, rehearsals, and now actual performances I've just been running around everywhere.

The shows have been going amazingly!  Last nights audience was just fantastic.  They laughed and awwed so much.  It really was a great feeling.  And after the show I had so many people come up to me and tell me how great I was and how I look so natural on stage.  And the guy that I like was there . . .  they guy I told you is going to formal with one of my sorority sisters.  Well he came up to me after the show and hugged me and told me that I did a fantastic job.  He's from Georgia and we all had to use southern accents for the play (since it takes place in Georgia) and he was like, "I was honestly really impressed with your accent, and with your acting.  You were really great!"  And we talked about how he wished he had auditioned and how he's going to audition for future shows.  We just had a nice little chat.  And then I had to leave to change out of costume so he gave me a hug to say goodbye and as I started walking away he goes "Wait, come back" and gave me another hug but lifted me off the ground . . . wtf?  I don't understand him!!!  I don't want to like him but sometimes it's so difficult!

Now to talk about the half confession:
Not including the townspeople, there are only two girls in the play.  So we've been the only girls going to every rehearsal.  She's in her late 20s I'm pretty sure (she won't tell me so she's either late 20s or early 30s).  But anyway, we've gotten kind of close.  Not incredibly so but still.  To me she feels like a big sister.  We were actually talking about that one day too.  We were sitting backstage and she was like "you remind me of my little sister" and I was like "really?  you remind me of my big sister!  Except that I don't have one" haha.  And she said "Awww, so I'm like the big sister you never had!"  Which is kinda true.  Even though I have my big in my sorority and stuff, but she graduated last year and I don't ever see her.  And R feels like more of a big sister anyway.

Well, one day in the dressing room we were talking about tattoos.  She has one on her back so she was explaining it to me.  I told her I never used to want a tattoo but now there's one that I sort of want.  So she had me show her a picture of what it is:

Now, I'm sure most of you know what this symbol is.  The eating disorder recovery symbol.  I wouldn't get it now for a couple of reasons.
A) I don't want to have to explain it to my parents.  They don't know and they would find the tattoo.
B) It would feel hypocritical to get it now since I'm not recovered at all anymore.

Well, she asked me what it meant and I told her...  I told her it was the eating disorder recovery symbol.  And we didn't really say much more.  We left rehearsal and I texted her a bit later.  I felt a little awkward that I told her and was wondering if it had been a mistake.  It was a short text convo but here it is:
Me: Hey, sorry if that was too much to tell you.  Lol
Her: Not at all, sweetie.  You can tell me whatever you like. :)
Me: I just forgot that it can be kinda awkward for people to find out which is why I don't really tell anyone.
Her: Well it's a personal piece of your history so I can understand wanting to keep it yourself.  But I'm always willing to listen.  I admire you.
Her: There's nothing you can say that's going to make me feel awkward.
Me: Thanks R.  That really means a lot.  And why would you admire me?
Her: Anyone recovering from an eating disorder shows a strength of character that's worth admiring.  You're pretty awesome, C.

I won't share the rest cause not much else is said.  But I thought that was incredibly sweet of her.  It made me feel great that she is willing to be there for me no matter what I tell her.  Obviously I'm not planing on telling her this isn't completely past tense.  But at least she knows it's something I've gone through.

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Schizotypal |||||||||||||| 54%
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