Thursday, May 17, 2012

Teresa vs. Nancy

I had my first appointment with the psychiatrist today.  Teresa.  She's really nice and I liked her a lot.  But it felt so...weird.  Oddly professional.  With Nancy it always felt so conversational.  With Teresa it's different.

Entering through the backdoor of the counseling center I step into a small waiting room just outside of the administrative assistants office.  A slightly overweight blonde hands me some paper work for me to fill out while I wait for Nancy to be ready.  After filling it out I sit on a bench made comfortable with small pillows until Nancy comes to get me.  Then I follow her up the cute staircase and to her office, tucked in the back corner.  The door opens to reveal a quaint, cozy office with her desk and a corner with two comfortable arm chairs and a rocking chair.  We each take an armchair and proceed with our session.  She lays back in her chair, relaxed and we just talk.

Maybe one or two cars pass by the building as I sit in my car for 10 minutes, gathering the courage to enter the side door of this new psychiatrists building.  Finally I enter the building and find myself in an empty hallway with so many doors.  How many doors are there?  Ten at least.  And gathering by the stairway to my left there are just as many doors upstairs.  Long, thin hallway where only one person could fit comfortably.  Where do I go?  A glass window stands in front of me.  Do I knock?  But where do I wait while filling out paper work.  Better head upstairs.  Nothing up there but doors....better head back to the glass window.  I tap on it lightly...what if I'm not supposed to tap on the glass?  My doctors office has a sign asking you not to.  But I don't see a sign.  Great no one is answering...Now wh...Oh!  A short, petit brunette slides open the window and asks if I'm a new patient.  Yes.  I'm handed a clipboard and blue pen with a tip that's way to thick for my liking.  Oh well...  The woman directs me to the first door on my left labeled "Waiting Room"  Ahh, so that's where I wait.  Opening the door I think it's more of a closet or cupboard under the stairs rather than an actual room.  A long couch and three armchairs sit waiting for me.  I sit in a chair and fill out the paper work and wait for Teresa.  She arrives just as I'm finishing filling everything out.  We head to the last door on the right side of the hallway.  We can't even stand next to her.  I'm just following.  Her office is huge!  Three different seating areas await us.  She directs me to the black leather couch in the back corner telling me it's the most comfortable.  Her seat?  A desk chair directly in front of me.  She comes equipped with a clipboard and pen.  For what?  Is she really going to take notes on me?  *Sigh*...  We proceed with the session.  And, surprisingly, it doesn't feel as uncomfortable as I was expecting.  Yes, she's jotting down notes.  But she's paying attention and attempting to understand.  She's taking notes to keep track of what I'm saying.  She'll probably analyze it later.  Can't wait to see what she thinks is wrong with me.  She asks me questions about myself and asks me to clarify.  She builds on what I say and seems so interested in understand me.  She seems genuine.  I like her.

My next appointment is on Monday, I'm actually looking forward to it.  I'm interested to see what happens now that she's had time to review her notes.  I wonder what's in those notes...what did she put on that clipboard of her.  She filled up three pages of notes during our session...what did she fill those pages with??

Wednesday I have a doctors appointment.  My last (I'm fairly certain) with my pediatrician.  I have to graduate to an adult doctor now.  But anyway, she wants to do blood work.  She wants to check my thyroid and check other chemical factors that could be attributed to anxiety and depression.  My phobia of needles is going to make this all the more fun...not.  Oh well, just gonna have to suck it up and deal.


  1. Hey hun, how's everything going? You know, with the counsellor and the psychiatrist and the paediatrician and all those clinicians?
    And how are you most importantly. How has everything been since you told your mother?
    Your lack of posts makes me a wee bit worried about you...I really hope that everything is going alright.

  2. Hey, I found your blog today and read my way through all your entries. I'm struggling with an ED, depressions and self injury, too.
    Hope everything is "okay". I'm a little worries because you didn't write for such a long time...


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