Who would have thought?

Who would have thought that my first blog would be about anorexia?

Hi everyone.  I've never kept a blog or anything so I don't quite no what I'm doing, just bare with me.  So, what made me start this blog?  I'm not sure.  Maybe it has something to do with wanting to share my story and experiences.  Maybe I'm just crazy.  I don't know...  It's not like i'm someone special who people want to read a bog about.  But i guess that is of little to no importance.  Because this is my blog, all about me, and if you don't care then you don't have to read.

So I'm pretty nervous about tonight.  It's Christmas Eve and every year we go to my Grandma's house for dinner and family presents.  We usually do a nice Italian dinner (my mom's side is half-Italian) but this year my Grandma is too tired to make dinner so we are ordering pizza.  I'm going to try to get away with eating as little as possible, I'm just nervous that it's going to be hard.  I've been preparing for Christmas Eve and Christmas dinner though, I haven't eaten anything in a few days (this is the third day).  Well, that isn't entirely true. Yesterday I had a bowl of Select Harvest Italian-Style Vegetable Soup (only 50 calories!!).  But other than that I've been drinking tons of water (the faster you drink it, the fuller you get) and tea.  The idea of a big family dinner makes me pretty anxious though...I have to hope I have the strength to stop eating once I start.  I don't want to ruin all of my hard work!

A little about me:
I'm 19 years old at 5'8".  When this whole thing started I weighed around 127.  I currently (as of this morning) weigh 119!  My current goal weight is 115, but that will probably change once I reach it.  I weigh myself every morning when I wake up and keep a journal tracking my calorie intake each day.  I give myself a max of 500 calories but try not to go over 300 each day.  I generally feel extremely guilty if I do...  But there have been times where there was no getting around eating a lot of calories.

I suppose you'll learn more if you continue to follow my blog.  Assuming I can keep up with it, lol.  I think I'll be able to.  I enjoy talking about my anorexia, although I'm not sure why.

Well, my family is about to leave to go to my grandparent's house so I guess that's all for now!
Until next time :D