Thursday, January 26, 2012

We haven't gotten our rehearsal schedules yet.  The Director told us that since the cast is so big it's going to take her a few more days to get all the conflicts accounted for.  Good news for me!  This means it's going to be a while before Erica e-mails the psych professor.  She asked me about it today and when I told her I didn't have the schedule she said we'd go ahead and e-mail him anyway but that didn't happen.  So another day has passed of me (hopefully) losing weight.  Two people have asked about the bandaid on my wrist...once it was just her and me and the other time I was in a group of people.  I just told them I hurt myself moving into my room.  The believed it.  But my face was beat red when I was asked in the group.  I was so embarrassed and wanted to end the conversation...

I told Erica and Megg about the situations.  And Erica looked at the bandaid I put on my upper arm (I took my sweater off around her because she already knows, there's no point in hiding it) and she asked if I had cut again.  I hadn't!  She just thought she remembered the cut being up hire.  So now I know if I do cut again I'm going to have to be extremely careful about hiding it.  Cause Erica and Megg will be on my jock and probably won't let me even sleep alone if they find out.  Not that I have my usual cutting tool... Though I'm kind of thinking of buying one.  Or just using my razor or some scissors.  If Erica doesn't plan on giving me my scale back I think I'm gonna go buy another one, so I might as well buy a new x-acto knife while I'm at it.  Though Megg made it clear that if I do buy a new scale she'd take it away.  So I'd have to be sure to hide that too.  

Today I was able to step on a scale!  I went over to my friends' apartment and they have a scale in their bathroom.  So it was definitely off ritualistically.  I had to keep all my clothes on (had to make it fast), and it was just after I'd eaten dinner with them (some pasta salad and a coke zero).  Results?  132.7.  So I'm hoping that means I'm at least 131 or something!  Goodness...I really wish I had my scale...and my x-acto knife.  I just feel so anxious without them around.  They have both been a huge part of my life and I feel so lost without them.  So I need to either get them back someway or replace them.  Because living without them is just not an option right now.

1 comment:

  1. I feel the same way about my own cutting tools. I guess it's because I'm rather ritualistic about it. I had an x-acto knife too except my parents took it from me a couple of months ago. It was a great little thing. I'm thinking about replacing it when I have to buy stationary materials for university. I just feel weird not having it.



Personality Disorder Test Results
Paranoid |||||||||||||||||||| 86%
Schizoid |||||||||||||||| 70%
Schizotypal |||||||||||||| 54%
Antisocial |||||| 22%
Borderline |||||||||||||||||| 78%
Histrionic |||||| 26%
Narcissistic |||||| 22%
Avoidant |||||||||||| 42%
Dependent |||||||||||| 42%
Obsessive-Compulsive |||||||||||||||| 70%
Take Free Personality Disorder Test
Personality Test by