Thursday, August 18, 2011

Okay, so fasting today didn't work out.  My mom brought home dinner and I ended up eating.  I had half of a wrap from Chicken Kitchen.  And I didn't eat breakfast so that just makes it worse...  But until then (it was 6:30pm when I ate) I hadn't eaten anything.  So we'll see what that does for my weight.  I had a slice of watermelon a little while after that but since it's basically water I figure it doesn't really count.

I go back up to school in a few days.  I'm leaving on Monday.  Pretty excited and not at the same time.  I miss a lot of the people so I'm excited about that but I don't wanna leave here and have classes.  Laura and I have gotten so much closer these past few days and it's going to suck to not have her as close.  Though she's only like 45 minutes away when we're both at school.  So hopefully it won't be too bad.  I'm teaching her how to knit which is pretty exciting!  I absolutely love knitting and have done so much of it this summer.

I'm gonna try for a fast day tomorrow.  We'll see how that works out.  I just have to play my cards right and avoid food at all costs.  Isn't it crazy how saying no to food gives a sense of empowerment?  How can that be?  It's so weird to think that a year ago I wasn't like this.  I have made such a 360 in the past year it's almost frightening.  And yet it isn't.  I enjoy being the way I am.  Despite the fact that sometimes it terrifies me.  Clearly there is no getting better.  There is no going back once you've started.  And I'm okay with that.

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Personality Disorder Test Results
Paranoid |||||||||||||||||||| 86%
Schizoid |||||||||||||||| 70%
Schizotypal |||||||||||||| 54%
Antisocial |||||| 22%
Borderline |||||||||||||||||| 78%
Histrionic |||||| 26%
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Avoidant |||||||||||| 42%
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Obsessive-Compulsive |||||||||||||||| 70%
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