Wow! I have been nominated for The Liebster Blog Award by Judith Marie! I'm pretty excited :D It's been a really rough week... Before I get into the details of the award, I wanted to let you all know that my Grandpa passed away two nights ago... I haven't seen him since the beginning of August and I miss him so much!! I wish I had gotten the chance to see him one last time... But, I know he's in a better place free of the emphysema. So at least he doesn't have to suffer through that anymore! I love Grandpa!!
Now on to the Liebster Blog Award!
In your next blog post...
1. Thank the person/people who nominated you & include a link to their blog
2. Include 11 things about yourself
3. Answer the 11 questions from the person who nominated you.
4. Choose 11 bloggers to nominate, they must have less than 200 followers
5. Create 11 questions for them to answer
6. Let them know you nominated them
Hi everyone! My name is Corley.
I don't think I've ever revealed my real name. But that's it!
1. I love to knit/crochet/sew/do anything crafty. I own a small crafting business called Crafted by Corley (check it out on facebook).
2. I absolutely love children!! I cannot wait to be a mother
3. My passion is acting and I hope to one day turn it in to a career
4. I have an obsession with popcorn. I don't know why but I love it and eat it all the time!
5. I love to take baths
6. My favorite TV shows are Law and Order SVU and Dexter
7. I don't particularly enjoy watching movies but will if other people want me to
8. I love reading and can easily lose myself in a book
9. I really wish I could play Luna Lovegood in the Harry Potter movies but couldn't audition because I'm not British :(
10. My favorite singer is Taylor Swift and I find her incredibly inspiring
11. The first thing I notice about someone is their eyes. I think they are the most attractive thing about someone
Questions from Judith Marite :)
1. How would your life be different if you didn't have an ED?
Goodness... It would be incredibly different. I would spend everyday thinking about food. Weighing myself 3+ times each day. I also wouldn't cry because I think I'm too fat at 5'8" and 130lbs. But most of all I wouldn't be hurting the people I love. Life without an ED would be great! Going to buffets and not worrying about how many calories I was consuming. Birthday's and other holidays where I don't care if I grab a second helping of dessert, let alone a first. Memories that involve the people and the activities, not my guilt and food intake. I think life would be happier...
2. Thinspiration or reverse thinspiration and why
Thinspiration. Though I'm more motivated by quotes and passages, not pictures. It's more motivating to see a picture of someone who is my ideal size, it gives me something to look forward to. If I look at something I'm trying to avoid it's a lot harder to convince myself not to eat a meal. After all, one meal won't make me 500lbs. But skipping that meal gets me closer 110.
3. Favorite item of clothing?
Hmmm that's difficult. I love my dresses! I feel like if I have a pretty, girly wardrobe, people will like me more. Like it makes up for the fact I'm fat and ugly. It also gives me something that is distinctly mine. People always comment on my dresses and hairbows, they know it's my thing.
4. What is your dream holiday?
Oh boy! So many options. Wait...I just realized you could be talking about vacations. In which case I would want to go somewhere in Europe. Like London or somewhere in Italy. I've always wanted to travel to Europe.
5. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? (can't be body related!)
Woww.. There are a million body things I would change. But something not related to my body... I would probably change the fact that I am overly sensitive and over think everything. I'm really bad when it comes to dwelling on something. And when people make jokes I get offended, even though I know they don't mean it. Probably because I think it about myself so it's partly true in my mind. I just wish I didn't get upset over everything. And overthink everything.
6. Besides your ED, what is your next biggest problem?
Self harm. Sometimes it gets really bad. Close to suicidal. Definitely a problem...
7. How much do you think the fashion industry has contributed to your ED?
Not a lot actually. Mostly it was people always expecting me to be extremely thin. I always was growing up. So constantly being told how thin I was and people being jealous of that is what really triggered it. Especially once puberty hit and I started filling out. Then I was still called thin but not as often, I was more "normal." And I didn't like that. I wanted to be the one people complimented on being really thin, the one people wanted to be like. It had nothing to do with the media or fashion industry or anything.
8. Do you have any tattoos or piercings? Would you ever get any?
I have the two ear piercings that I've had since I was 6 months old. I don't believe I would ever get another piercing. Though I won't say never because you never know. But I have a legitimate phobia of needles and have really bad panic attacks around them so that would be problematic. I don't have any tattoos. And I don't believe I would ever get one. Though if I ever did I would want a white ink ED recovery symbol somewhere. Though I think it's better to just get a necklace or bracelet. Being an actress makes tattoos problematic. Plus the whole thing of my needle phobia.
9. How does your ED affect your relationships?
To those that know about it: a lot. To those that don't know: hardly at all. It definitely hurts those that know about it. Which I feel terrible about... They don't want to see me go through this. And when someone knows, I lean on them when things get difficult. In those moments when I want recovery. I cry and cling to Ellen when she spends the night and I know it kills her to see me like that. It also causes some tension when I don't want recovery. Because I fight them on eating. So to those that know...I am truly sorry! I know it hurts you but you have to understand it's killing me....
10. If you were on death row, what would be your last meal?
Spaghetti with meat sauce and a meatball! Made with ground pork and ground turkey instead of beef.
11. What is top of your bucket list?
Be a mom! That is literally all I want.
I am not choosing 11, I will just choose a few.
5. Judith Marie (I wanted to nominate you as well)
1. What would your ideal day be if you didn't have an ED?
2. What was the moment you realized you had an ED?
3. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?
4. What is your biggest fear?
5. If you could ask someone anything and they had to be 100% honest with you, who and what would you ask?
6. If you could tell someone anything without fear of judgement, who and what would you tell?
7. Describe a time when you were truly, unquestioningly happy.
8. If your house was burning down and you had time to save one thing, what would it be and why?
9. How has having an ED affected you?
10. How many people know about your ED?
11. Given the choice, would you choose recovery or your goal weight?