Saturday, January 19, 2013

So it's official. I'm an awful friend. I think I expect way too much all the time. From everyone... I don't even do it on purpose. But I don't know why anyone would stay friends with me for a long portion of time... I definitely don't treat my friends well.

I cry myself to sleep every night. Without fail. How is that fair to Ellen? Who has to lay with me every night? Exactly. It's not. What kind of friend does that to someone? Me apparently. I don't think it's fair that she has to constantly worry about how I'm feeling or what I'm doing. Her life could be so much easier. Going to sleep at normal times, not watching as I cry on the bathroom floor because of the conversation going on in my head. I don't think there is any benefit for her in this friendship. I can't believe I'm selfish enough to do this to her... Maybe one day I'll have the guts to stop this pain for her. I'll have the guts to just quit everything. Make the hurt and the pain stop. And stop treating my friends this way... Because I know they don't deserve it...

No comments:

Post a Comment

Personality Disorder Test Results
Paranoid |||||||||||||||||||| 86%
Schizoid |||||||||||||||| 70%
Schizotypal |||||||||||||| 54%
Antisocial |||||| 22%
Borderline |||||||||||||||||| 78%
Histrionic |||||| 26%
Narcissistic |||||| 22%
Avoidant |||||||||||| 42%
Dependent |||||||||||| 42%
Obsessive-Compulsive |||||||||||||||| 70%
Take Free Personality Disorder Test
Personality Test by