I don't understand societal views of eating disorders...  I don't think I ever will.  Think of all the celebrities that have received so much negative attention and nasty rumors because it is discovered they have an eating disorder.  And if society feels that way about celebrities...just think of how they feel about everyone else.  Having an eating disorder is not a choice!  I did not wake up one morning and decide "I'm bored...you know what would be fun?  I'm gonna hate my body, let the mirror dictate my life, work out until I feel like I'm gonna fall over, starve myself to the point where standing up makes me feel like I'm going to pass out..  Yea, that's how I'm gonna spend my time."  

Absolutely not!  I cannot tell you how this started, or even why or when.  All I know is that I struggle with it every single day of my life.  I wake up wondering who will win today: me or the anorexia.  I go to sleep knowing I either won or lost.  Knowing that tomorrow I will wake up and fight the battle all over again.

I was thinking about this today for some reason.  I was looking at a picture of a celebrity who had an eating disorder and remembering how much drama surrounded it.  No one felt sorry or concerned really.  It was all negative...like she had done this to herself.  And it made me realize why I could never confide in someone that I have an eating disorder.  Because of the negative attention it gains...  And that's just not right...