Day 5: Are you pro-thinspo, pro-fitspo, pro-ana, pro-mia, or pro-weight-loss? Why?
- Difficult question . . . I'd say I'm definitely pro-thinspo, fitspo, and weight loss for myself and others. On a whole I encourage others to be healthy and inspiration that helps you achieve that is always good. However, I am not pro-any form of eating disorder for those who don't have one. I am a member of a "pro-ana" site though. I go there for support and inspiration. So I like having the option of visiting a pro-ana site even though I strongly discourage it for anyone not already struggling.
So I'm up in Minnesota for Thanksgiving. This is gonna be a struggle. I already ate more today than I should have and tomorrow is Thanksgiving!! I don't plan on eating anything before dinner though that way if I over eat a little bit it won't be the end of the world. Though I'd really like to eat less than a normal portion of food. Just a taste of everything to occupy time and show everyone I'm eating. Is it bad that I'm hoping to wake up really sick tomorrow? Last year I got so lucky and was throwing up during dinner so I didn't have to worry about it. Oh well . . . I'll just have to prove my strength of character.
I've been thinking about trying out laxatives lately and Judith Marie (a blogger I follow) just recently posted about using them. It's seriously making the thoughts even stronger. Sure, now you all probably think I just copy everything I read from blogs. I promise you that's not the case. Reading these blogs just helps me settle these debates I've been having with myself. But you can think what you wish. Unfortunately I am not home or up at school so I don't have the opportunity to get them at the moment. I'm going to have to wait till I leave Minnesota. Gives me some more time to debate about it.
And now for a comment response:
Judith Marie: Thank you so much for your lovely comment! I'm always terrified that someone is going to to notice my cutting and confront me about it. So I had to be sure I put it somewhere no one would see. Your comment really means a lot =] I'm glad I'm not the only one who finds it beautiful. I guess that's how our minds work. There's something inherently more beautiful about something when you've carved it into your skin. Maybe that's just because I'm crazy . . .
Hey hun! Thanks so much for reading my blog, it really means just so much to me. Always nice to know someone who with an ED and self harms. Makes me feel so understood.
ReplyDeleteThe laxies, I think I would be the most irresponsible person in the world if I were to suggest that you start using them. They definitely have their pros and cons. The big con is sitting on the toilet at some ungodly hour with the worst stomach pains ever. But afterwards you do feel a bit justified.
Nah, I don't think you're crazy! You're certainly not mainstream, but not crazy. Happy Thanksgiving! We don't have that where I live, but you knock yourself out. I think you just have to accept that holidays are bad times for weight loss.