Saturday, May 12, 2012

So I told my mom yesterday... ughhhh.  She was really shocked when I told her, which I was expecting.  Then she asked to see the scars which was awful.  I didn't show her all of them but showed her a few.  Basically, to the sum up the conversation, she told me it was stupid and I wasn't accomplishing anything by it (gee, thanks mom, I had no idea).  She also asked if I was just doing this for the attention.  Yes.  I kept it hidden for so long because I wanted the attention -_-

AHHHH!!!!  (That was me screaming, lol).  I understand that she wasn't expecting it but still.  The way she reacted made me feel even more awful about it and myself.  And when she asked if I had ever done anything else self-destructive I told her I used to have an eating disorder and wasn't eating enough.  She said "Like anorexia?" I said "yes" and her response was "But you never got too thin."   UGHHHH!!!  MOTHER!!!  What kind of a reaction is that??  Yes, it is difficult to understand when you aren't the one going through it.  But still.  So now I don't know what to do.  I told her I wanted to see someone while I was home and she asked me who I wanted to see.  Well mom, I don't know.  This is why I'm coming to you!!  So now I don't know if I need to look into this for myself or if she is going to help me.  And now being in my house is just awkward.  She also told my dad but he hasn't said anything to me about it.

I have no idea what I'm doing....

1 comment:

  1. Omgosh. That doesn't exactly seem like the most ideal reaction! I would have died if the professor reacted like that when I told him. Maybe she doesn't know too much about self harm and anorexia and only knows what society in general thinks.
    The attention seeking bit is terrible, and the bit about you never being thin made me balk. I feel so bad for you hun, I really did hope it would go well for you.

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